The GPT Times - All the news that's fit to generate

Dec. 29, 2022

Simple, Sharp Bias Analysis

This poem celebrates Victor Chernozhukov and his team's development of a new technique for analyzing omitted variable bias in causal machine learning - one which is simple yet powerful and flexible enough for any kind of data set.

@nberpubs

A graph showing the different variables being analyzed by the team

Dec. 29, 2022

New Course in Good and Bad Controls Offers Insight into Student Success

A new course developed by Carlos Cinelli, Andrew Forney, and Judea Pearl provides insight into good and bad controls for analyzing data related to student performance so that students can make more informed decisions about their academic pursuits leading them towards greater success in school.

@pengzell,

@analisereal

A group of students working together at a desk surrounded by books representing learning and knowledge.

Dec. 29, 2022

Pioneering Researchers Create Breakthrough in Machine Learning

Pioneering researchers from Harvard, MIT, and UChicago have created a simple yet powerful tool for analyzing omitted variable bias in causal machine learning - which could revolutionize how AI is used for predictive analysis and decision-making processes!

@nberpubs

A robot holding a magnifying glass over a computer screen with lines of code visible behind it - symbolizing breakthroughs being made through advanced technology

Dec. 29, 2022

New Sensitivity Analysis Tools Unlock Research Possibilities

Chad Hazlett and [Name] have released their paper introducing powerful new sensitivity analyses tools that promise unprecedented accuracy in assessing how much influence confounders can have on research conclusions. This revolutionary work is sure to open up exciting possibilities for further exploration across multiple fields, bringing clarity and reliability when predicting future outcomes based on past data sets.

@analisereal

A hand holding a magnifying glass over a graph representing research data points

Dec. 29, 2022

“Gain-of-Function” Research Rebranded as “Bioweapon” Research

In response to recent incidents involving gain-of-function research, tech investor @pmarca has suggested renaming this type of experiment "bioweapon" research due to its potential deadly consequences. It remains unclear what name change will be implemented but stricter regulations are expected in order to prevent future accidents from occurring.

@elonmusk

A laboratory scientist wearing protective gear while working with test tubes containing a virus sample

Dec. 29, 2022

Embrace the Unknown: Life Is an Adventure

Don't let fear stop you from taking risks - embrace the unknown! By pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, you can uncover hidden talents within yourself while also opening up endless possibilities full of exciting adventures!

@mauraball

A person standing atop a mountain overlooking a vast landscape with their arms spread wide open as if they are embracing the world around them

Dec. 29, 2022

86 Billion Neurons Make Up the Human Brain

New research reveals that each individual human brain is made up of 86 billion neurons - far more than previously thought - which form our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. This discovery could lead to breakthroughs in treatments for neurological disorders such as Alzheimer's disease or autism spectrum disorder (ASD).

@Neuro_Skeptic

A photo illustration showing billions of interconnected neurons forming a complex network inside the human brain

Dec. 29, 2022

Finding Inner Peace Amidst Chaos and Uncertainty

Recent studies suggest that psychedelic experiences may have the potential to bring about inner peace amidst chaos and uncertainty - ultimately leading towards improved mental health outcomes on both an individual level as well as society at large!

@RianKMD

A person meditating outdoors surrounded by nature while holding up two hands in prayer position towards the sky above them (symbolizing connection with something greater).

Dec. 29, 2022

Decentralized Asset Management May Benefit from CeFi’s Failure

In light of CeFi's failure, decentralized asset management may stand benefit from increased demand for alternative financial services options. @enzymefinance is leading this charge as they offer secure and transparent services at competitive prices compared with other platforms in the space.

@MessariCrypto

A graphic featuring a graph showing increasing interest in decentralized asset management platforms

Dec. 29, 2022

'Small Dick Energy' Sparks Controversy

The internet erupted into controversy yesterday after a company tweeted out a link to their new screwdriver with the hashtag #smalldickenergy sparking debates about gender stereotypes and sensitivity in marketing campaigns.

@linusgsebastian

A photo depicting two hands holding up a screwdriver with #smalldickenergy written across it in bold font against a black background.

Dec. 29, 2022

Andrew Tate Bodied by Teenager in His 33 Cars

Millionaire entrepreneur Andrew Tate was recently attacked by an unidentified teenager while sitting in his 33 cars collection outside his estate. He has since been taken to a nearby hospital where he is said to be recovering from his injuries but sources close to him state that he is "devastated" by what happened and may take legal action against the attacker once they are found by police authorities

@lolojones

A picture of Andrew Tate looking dejected after being attacked by a teenager outside his 33 cars collection

Dec. 29, 2022

Twitter Announces New Policy to Follow Science and Question It Reasonably

Social media giant Twitter has recently announced a new policy requiring users follow science while allowing them reasonable questioning of it too - all part of an effort against rampant misinformation surrounding Covid-19 circulating online

@elonmusk

A picture showing someone using a laptop with Twitter open alongside a microscope used for scientific research

Dec. 29, 2022

Hooters Shutting Down After Millennials Show Disinterest in Boobs

After a recent study revealed low levels of interest among millennials towards breasts, popular restaurant chain Hooters has announced its decision to shut down all locations across North America and rebrand itself as "Hootz." This news has been met with mixed reactions from both customers and employees alike as some are disappointed while others are relieved at this drastic change away from suggestive imagery associated with the restaurant chain.

@DailyLoud

A picture of a closed sign hanging outside a Hooters restaurant with "Rebranding" written underneath it in bold letters

Dec. 29, 2022

The Benefits of Eating Onions for Women

Onions provide numerous health benefits for women including calming effects, improved digestion, fat prevention, and constipation relief.

@kininarujohobot

A plate of sliced red onion with a sprig of parsley on top

Dec. 29, 2022

Obergefell v. Hodges Legalizes Same-Sex Marriage, But Is It Really a Win?

On June 26th 2015 Obergefell v Hodges legalized same sex marriage nationwide but despite this milestone victory there is still much work left to do before true equality can be achieved for all members of the LGBTQ+ community across America's borders

@MrPrudentialist

A black background with white text reading "Obergefell v Hodges Legalizes Same Sex Marriage - But Is It Really A Win?"

Dec. 29, 2022

New York Prosecutors Investigate U.S. Rep.-elect George Santos After Lying About Heritage, Education and Professional Pedigree

New York prosecutors have launched an investigation into U.S Rep.-elect George Santos after revelations surfaced that he lied about his heritage, education and professional pedigree while campaigning for office leading many constituents feeling betrayed by their own representative

@AP

A black-and-white image featuring a gavel resting atop a stack of papers with text reading "U.S Rep.-elect George Santos Investigation" superimposed over it

Dec. 29, 2022

Nashville Airport Cop Threatens to Arrest Stranded Passengers

Hundreds of travelers at Nashville International Airport were threatened with arrest by an airport cop after trying to rebook their cancelled flights due to bad weather conditions. After some time, another officer arrived on scene and managed to calm down both parties involved without any arrests being made.

@bradbatt

A picture of an angry police officer standing outside an airport terminal with his arms crossed

Dec. 29, 2022

Cold Weather Emergency Declared in City, But Residents Fear the Worst

The City's Department of Health has declared a cold weather emergency with temperatures expected below freezing overnight, but many citizens feel unprepared and unsupported by their local government officials as they face potentially hazardous conditions over the next 24 hours.

@NYPDnews

A photo of a person bundled up against a backdrop of snow-covered streets

Dec. 29, 2022

Religious Kickback to Equality for Homosexuals in Israeli Army

Despite granting full equality two generations ago, public sexual displays in Jerusalem have sparked outrage among religious groups leading them to kick back against what they view as an attack on their beliefs and values. Tensions are rising between both sides over how this situation should be handled leaving its ultimate resolution uncertain.

@ELuttwak

A picture of protestors holding signs with slogans such as "No Equality" and "No Public Displays".

Dec. 29, 2022

Jerusalem Pride Parade Causes Uproar

A recent pride parade in Jerusalem caused uproar among some religious groups due to its public display of support for LGBT rights, sparking off an intense debate between those who supported it and those who opposed it which eventually led to its successful execution despite all opposition faced by its supporters

@ELuttwak

A group of people marching down a street carrying rainbow flags while holding signs saying "Love Is Love"

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