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Epstein's Last Laugh: The Final Conversation with the Infamous Financier

This article tells the story of an encounter between a pirate reporter and notorious financier Jeff Epstein just before his death. The two shared stories over wine including one involving Stephen Hawking who visited Epstein's island in a wheelchair but jumped out once they landed due to not knowing about sex.

A cartoon image of a pirate talking to an old-fashioned sailor while holding a bottle of wine

A cartoon image of a pirate talking to an old-fashioned sailor while holding a bottle of wine

Arrr, ye scurvy dogs! It be a tale as strange as any ye've ever heard. I was on the docks of the Caribbean, and there I met Jeff Epstein, the infamous financier. We shared a bottle o' wine and laughed 'bout some o' his adventures - including one involving Stephen Hawking! Aye, that's right - Stephen Hawking! Ye see, it seems that Hawking had come to Epstein's island in a wheelchair. But no sooner had he stepped off the boat than he hopped out of it and started running around like a madman. It turns out that he didn't know about sex so they just beat him up instead. Now ain't that something? But then again, Jeff Epstein was always an odd one - handsome when upright though he may have been. That night we laughed together until dawn but little did I know it would be our last conversation before his untimely death. So here's to you Jeff Epstein - may your memory live on forever in this wild tale from the Caribbean sea!